"M'aidez!" cries the little bug

Tonight, I put some toast in the toaster and then noticed, right by my faucet, a very small spider heading towards a green mayfly-type bug stuck in its web. I watched for a long time as the bug struggled. My toast got cold. When I was a child, I would have tried to rescue the green bug. What has made me what I am?

As the bug fought, it shook the web so much that my eyes couldn’t refresh quickly enough. It was as if the spider were in a strobe light. I kept waiting for the bug to destroy the web to the extent that the spider would get caught in one of the sticky strands. No taking sides. I root for no one.



God, that tensile strength!

Closeted

For anyone who doesn’t know yet, we’re in a house. A big, two-story house with a backyard, a scary basement, wood floors under the most disgusting carpeting I’ve ever pulled up, and pets: a doggie and a kitty. Right now, the Ganglebot is off at rehearsal, Ivanovich is upstairs getting some sleep before his third-shift job, Fishsticks is purring on the bed near him, Blue is curled up on the couch asleep (and pretending to be a good dog), and I’m wrapped in a blanket and sitting by our window. It’s cold out, and I feel slightly hung over, despite my lack of alcohol last night. We all spent the later part of the morning eating cinnamon toast (well, not Ivan) and watching the third season of Arrested Development – so good! how can it be over? – while guarding our breakfasts from Blue. Me gusta living here with these people and animals. Mucho.

But what surprises does this house have in store for us? We’ve already had a few, not counting the shellac on the floor where a previous owner couldn’t get cat pee out (that corner still smells pretty bad) and the many lightswitches that seem to connect to nothing. We were told before moving in that we have a ghost named Henry (or Harry – more on the ghost later), and we found a bat in the piano (perhaps that story, too – it’s just funny enough to tell again). Perhaps the best surprise yet happened before I got back. Gangles and Ivan were moving things in and poking around, and GB opened up a closet.
GB: Ivan?
IV: What?
GB: There’s a sword in the closet.
IV: [pause] What?
GB: There is a sword in the closet.
IV: Like . . . rapier or broadsword?
GB: Uhh – broadsword!
IV: Well, someone’s been fighting dragons!

I later found a short sword in another closet that matched the big one.

Gyarr!

And if I do figure out that it’s moonshine in those glass jugs in the basement, I’ll hold a tasting. Mmm, fifty-year-old moonshine. I wonder whose bathtub it was made in.

Wine and roses!

So I'm here at school, waiting for Ivanovich to pick me up, and the cleaning crew comes in (because it's that late). All is silent - then, suddenly, the radio blares on, and it's some kind of country station. I'm bringing home wine and roses, indeed.

On Tuesday, a student told me that she was going to miss class that day and tomorrow. I told her that she looked sick and should go home, and she informed me that she was, instead, going to a funeral. Oop. I felt like a jackass - I think I'll bring that up to my mentor tomorrow. Heh.